Protected: Doubt, Frustration, Defeat

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New Flickr Account!

After much demanding, cajoling, and threats of violence I have set up a new Flickr account with some inaugural photos of the brand new awesome quilt made for me by my Grandma Wilma and my new toy, the Janome sewing machine.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lifeinknickers/

More photos as crafting commences.

The Trial By Poop: Day 2 Electric Boogaloo

While I wait for my Lean Cuisine Pot Stickers to cool from a sun’s surface heat to a more appetizing liquid hot magma, I will purge my soul.

After another somewhat frantic/panicked phone call to my parents I have decided not to call them this week again and instead blog about the insanity and chaos that is happening this week at the house.

This morning I woke up late, that is at 9:00 am instead of the 7:00 am I was aiming for.  The dogs got walked to go potty, coffee was made, dogs got treats, cats got fed, coffee was drank, got dressed, dogs got walked, Tie-Tie got a happy pill, dogs went potty again, dogs separated, I went off to work.

Work was fine.

Got home and found that I must have given the boys too many treats as they both had had explosive liquid soupy diarrhea all over the house.  That includes walls.  Tie-Tie has a gift for pooping on walls.  I immediately got TT out of the third bedroom that stunk so bad my gag reflex went haywire.  I took both boys out to see if there was anything left in their colons and, sure enough, there was.  I called the parent’s and asked if I had caused this, which I had, and then promised not to call them again this week.  I threw Jake in to the parent’s bedroom and commenced cleaning.  That is, I commenced cleaning after placing a phone call to Linds who calmed me down from my immediate desire to ball my eyes out to a slightly less panicked “just want to imagine I’m drinking vodka” tense state.

After sopping up the worse of it I proceeded to Resolve the carpets and Simple Green the walls.  The rug in the third bedroom that took the majority of the Tie-Tie Poop Barrage I had initially considered lost, but after some scrubbing and a good bleachy hot water wash it looks like it’s in stable condition.  Or it’s Lupus.  Either way, it’s treatable.

The boys then got their dinner, and while still on the phone with Linds, Tie-Tie started to make the dreaded Poop Stance.  You know the one.  Linds can attest to my freak out as I catapulted him outside so he could clean even more out of his body.  I know people who pay money to do this to their bodies.  These people are insane.  Got off the phone, and both boys were miserable and their tushes hurt and all they wanted to do was sleep.  So I gave Tie-Tie a Happy Pill and let him sleep on one side of the couch while Jake nestled next to me on the other.

I put him to bed about an hour to go in his room that is now sweet smelling (Thank Zeus for Febreeze) and completely disinfected.  Jake is laying out in the living room having a very active dream and I am on my second load of laundry.

Oh and the cat’s pissed on all the clean laundry.

I ran the dishwasher but have yet to put it away.  I haven’t cleaned the litter boxes yet today.  I need to throw all the blankets that are on the couch in the wash as well.  I think I’m going to make a giant poster board of all the chores to do in the morning.  Then put gold stars next to them when I complete the task.  Yeah.  I’d like that.

Day by day.  Six days to go.

Tomorrow I have my last two finals, Religion and Politics.  The good news is I totally passed College Algebra with a C (71%!  That’s right!  Woot for Underachievement!), passed Meteorology with a C, and will pass English Comp II with an A.  There will be a short reverie between tomorrow and May 11th when my next class starts.

Tomorrow is, also, when I have to get all the trash set to go for early Tuesday morning pickup.

In case you were wondering, yes, I do feel like a Sim.  An overworked, underpaid, not-enough-time-in-the-day, poop fighting, litter scooping, dish washing, laundry washing, laundry drying, laundry folding, vacuuming, sweeping, chain smoking, dying for a Cat & Linds girl’s night out Sim.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s exciting escapades entitled “The Trial By Poop: Day 3 When Poop Attacks!”

The Week So Far

It quadruple duty for me here at La Casa and it didn’t start out so well.  I had a bit of a scare with Jake after he reacted horribly to a sedative.  But after a few hours it seems to be mostly out of his system although he still looks tired and sick and fragile.  Tie-Tie did not eat any walls and only had one accident.  Overall,  a success.

Tomorrow is more work and my last two homework assisgnments before I take my finals Monday morning.  I’m not sure how to handle that fact.  Except that I know in two weeks time I will start the summer semester and go through this all over again.  One day at a time.

So here’s a rundown of my schedule for the next week.  It’s fun.  Really.

6:30 am – Wake up.  Shower. Dress.

7:00 am – Coffee with morning cnn/google reader/fark/gmail check.

8:00 am – Breakfast for Jake and Tie-Tie, Phish, and Cats.

8:30 am – Water Chili Pepper and Tomato plants.

9:30 am – Walk the M and R.  Off leash time for Tie-Tie.

10:00 am – Chore time.  Unload dishwasher, vacuum, laundry, brush dogs, clean litter boxes, attempt to clean car.

12:00 pm – Lunch.  For me.

2:00 pm – Walk the Jake.

3:00 pm – Walk the Tie-Tie.  Tie -Tie gets a “Happy Puppy” pill.

3:30 pm – Early dinner for the boys.

4:00 pm – Potty time for the boys.

4:30 pm to 9:30 pm – At work

10:oo pm – Get home.  Potty time.  Clean up any accidents.  Re-fill water dishes and cat food.  Feed phish.

11:30 pm – Sleep.  Tie-Tie gets “Happy Puppy” pill.

That’s the general idea.  Sometime in there I need to clean my room and finish up some craft projects.  I think it’s doable.  How about you?

No More…Please

After attempting to study algebra for three hours now I have come to the conclusion that it’s simply not going to happen.  My mind has absorbed all it can and will not hold any more information.

On a lighter note I had super happy fun time playing Mario Kart Wii with Mikey tonight and we have decided on a weekly battle session every Tuesday.  I’m going to see if I can pick up a used copy of Super Smash Bros. Brawl and just go crazy.  I, also, will need to get an earpiece for my phone cause it’s too hard to hold on my shoulder while trying to use the Wii Wheel to kick Mikey’s ass.

Tomorrow, I will take the final algebra exam and pray for a C to pass the class.  Afterwards, I will reward myself for just getting through the damn semester by going to Gamestop as well as Starbucks.  Scratch that.  Starbucks first, then final exam.  Then it will be off to Sarah’s for an outing to Downtown Disney and general fun hanging out before I have to come back home to learn the massive schedule that will be mine for the next week.  I’m not looking forward to that.  At all.

The only saving grace is that I will be hooking up the Wii to the big ass TV in the living room.  I’m hoping for plenty of happy time between walking dogs, feeding dogs, work, sleep, feeding cats, cleaning litter boxes, cleaning poop and urine just outside the litter boxes, vacuuming, dishwashing, laundry, lint rolling, car cleaning, and dusting to do my Wii Fit and crafting.

I can have dreams, people.  I. can. hope.

Blockage McBlockerton

What’s worse than having writer’s block?  Having writer’s block when you have to pump out a 2,000 word term paper in two days.

With my final week of this semester upon me the motivation to finish is completely, and utterly, gone.

With the exception of some interesting chapters in International Politics, the rest of my classes have been a bust.  I’m hoping that next term I have the time to really enjoy the material and be able to time manage myself so that I’m not looking at a looming deadline every time I need to write a paper.

I’m even writing this as a stall technique.  I’m using my blog as a distraction.

That can’t be good.

Chicago Travels

I am wrapping up a eight day vacation in Chicago and after much questioning of “What did you do?” and “How was it?” have decided to blog about it.  Because I am a Blogger.  Here we go.

Obviously the most insane time was with Mikey and Patrick who very graciously allowed me to crash at their fabulous condo in the city where we did nothing much but drink and sustain some heavy Wii injuries from bowling, Mario Tennis, and Mario Kart.  The first night I passed out after having a few drinks on a completely empty stomach and no sleep for two days so that was a bit of a bust.  But the next day Mikey and I went trekking through the city to purchase him a Wii and the necessary games.  We had some drama (bolt in one of the Saab’s wheels!) but ended up with awesome games and even was able to get Patrick addicted to Wii bowling.  Unfortunately, Patrick hit the “Pro” status before we did and continued to lord it over me for the remainder of the visit.  I love him, but man did I wish I could kick his ass at that game.

We ventured out of the house only once to go to a great place called the Seven Ten Lounge in Lincoln Park.  Awesome deco interior, full bar, and old school bowling alleys.  The kind where you have to keep score yourself with a pencil and piece of paper and the bowling balls come hurtling back at you down the lane at Warp 11 scaring the baby jesus out of you.  We had a blast and I didn’t suck quite as much as I anticipated. After our real bowling we went back the house and played, you guessed it, Wii Bowling for the remainder of the night.

I had a wonderful time and laughed pretty much the entire time though I do feel bad about not making my bed before I left.  I’m a dork like that.

On Zombie Jesus Day, they took me to my Aunt Laurie and Uncle Johnny’s for lunch where I met up with AK and UM.  We had a great visit there and then off I went to Long Grove where I sit now, rested, happy, and really not ready to face the reality that is my life in Florida.

All in all a great vacation where I did practically nothing but video games and surfing the internet.  It really is my dream down time.

I had grandiose plans to get organized while I was out of the state and those plans, as they always do, fell through.  I toyed with organizing crafting plans and watched The Sarah Connor Chronicles instead.  I played with making my budget and watched House instead.  I pondered a savings account and trying to make payments on my student loans early and watched Castle instead.  Hulu is the devil.

When I get back to the Sunshine State I need to call Valencia and inquire about any forms I need to do before I apply for more Stafford Loans for next term, as well as, buy my text books for the upcoming summer semester.  Oh, and pass the semester I’m in now.  A 1500 word English Research Paper is priority number one.  Algebra cramming and a complete review of everything I learned so far is number two.  International Politics is number three.  Religion is number four.  Sky Class is dead last.  If everyone out there could think happy thoughts that I pass these classes that would be awesome.  Thanks.

I was hoping to buy a cute planner while out here but never really took the time look for one and my one trip to Barnes & Noble yielded no results.  So, first thing Friday I’ll be trekking over to Target to get one.  I have had major issues this past year trying to keep track of quizzes and assignments and exams and while it has a lot to do with the fact that I loaded up with five classes instead of four, the other is just my own inability to keep information in my head.  I am getting close to my associates and need to start planning for my transfer to UCF next fall.  This means getting with an adviser at Valencia and going over my major (history) and ensuring that all credits will transfer over.

I, also, have more and more responsibility at The Job which will require more effort and thought.  My poor brain is getting crowded and I have little to no ability to retain any new information.  I’m hoping once the summer starts things will start to taper off a little.  While working full time and going to school full time is no picnic, it’s what I have to do.  After I get situated at work, I’ll start to look at places to live and hopefully won’t have to pay an arm and a leg to get a nice little place all to myself.

There are other thoughts rumbling around but those are for later.

What We Owe & What We Are Owed

Tonight, as I tore through for what has to be the 15,000,000th time Melanie Rawn’s excellent Dragon Prince trilogy, I wondered about the third Exiles book she was going to write.  If you’re not familiar with her work or the situation, here’s a brief summary:

Rawn wrote “The Ruins Of Ambrai” in 1994 and “The Mageborn Traitor” in 1997.  They are the first two books in what was supposed to be a trilogy.  “The Captal’s Tower“  was to be the third and final book in the Exiles series.  Rawn has since wrote other books in the decade or so since the last Exiles book was published and has now stated that she doesn’t know if the third book will ever be written.

And there’s the crux.  Melanie Rawn is a great writer and the worlds and characters she creates are so entrancing and intriguing you simply have to know more.  I’ve never had such a hunger for more books and tales than I had when reading her trilogies (and I include the two Exiles volumes in that).  Having, myself, waited nine years for the final chapter of a story I feel a twinge of impatience every now and then when I check up and see that, no, it isn’t written, isn’t being worked on, and probably won’t ever be.  As I checked her website this evening I was puzzled by some recent posts that can only be described as angry.  Enraged.  Vindictive.  Arrogant.  People posting that fans should boycott her work until she finishes the final Exiles book.  Fans (and I use that term lightly) calling for blood and accusing her of dishonesty, as well as, breaking her word to them.

What word?  Dishonesty?  I read the posts and saw the anger and rage and thought to myself,  These people are obviously not writers.  What’s more, they shouted that Rawn owed them the book.  That by not delivering it in a timely manner she had betrayed their trust and that all her books since were trash.  Once again I thought,  These people are obviously not writers.  She owed them the book?  She owes them, and I, absolutely nothing.

A strange thing occurs between writer and reader.  An author shares their story and, by that gesture, invites the reader to share the most intimate thoughts and emotions said author has.  We all put a bit of ourselves in to the words we write no matter what genre we might wrap them up in.  This act of showing the world our stories puts us, as writers and artists, in the most vulnerable position one can be in.  It has been likened to stripping naked and walking in to town square.  All of you is laid bare and all you can hope is that those who see your work understand it and love it, as you do.   If you’re lucky, they do and with that strength you may continue to do what you love which is tell stories.  Sometimes, though, this backfires.  Fans become insatiable and demand more and more.  They become rude, arrogant, and down right vile when you don’t produce what they want.  It’s not right but it happens.

All that said, after reading what many had to say about Melanie Rawn’s I needed to respond.  Not because I am of the same caliber, because I am most certainly not.  Nor because I know what’s she going through from any other perspective but that of an observer.  I need to respond as a fan of her worlds.

She owes us nothing.  Have any of you who spit at her tried weaving the intricate fabric of plotlines, character histories, and magic that she has?  Writing is hard.  Sometimes, it’s worse.  Sometimes, it’s ok.  But it’s work.  Work that does not always go the way you planned.  Some of you have accused her of not working through the ‘writer’s block’.  Sometimes, you can’t.  The story is there in your head but the thoughts refuse to join.  Sometimes, you need to walk away.  Of course, when you walk away, you chance that you’ll lose the story completely.  But it’s something that every writer does.  And at times, while in the midst of one tale, another comes forth and demands to be told first.  Storytelling is not simple or easy or succinct.  It’s as human as we are and other stories fall by the wayside submitting to the stronger claim.  Melanie Rawn has given us countless characters who we have battled with, laughed with, and wept with and for.  She has created worlds of such wonder and awe and magic that we have poured over the books again and again jealous because we do not live in them.  She choose to share these stories with us.  Let me say that again, she choose to share her stories.  I thank her for it.  You should, too.

As far as the third Exiles volume is concerned, too bad.  Sometimes, stories don’t end the way the reader wants.  Sometimes, they don’t end the way the author wants.  It’s maddening, I know, to wait all these years to find out just who, or what, Collan was.  Will Caitlet ever look at Joss the way he sees her?  Will Sarra be able to shape the world as she ones wanted to?  Will the Mageborns survive?  These questions, and many more, have been eating at my mind for nine years.  But they haven’t made me stop loving these characters.  They haven’t made me mad at the author for not giving me the answers.  With fantasy novels, you’re lucky to find one among the thousands that is original and engaging.  Most times, the author is only given one chance and I’m sure there are many of you out there that found one only to see that there is no more.  Melanie Rawn gave us two. For those two books, which have given me countless hours of delight and escape from the day to day routines that us non-Mageborns must go through, I am grateful.  As grateful as I am to Douglas Adams for his Hitchhiker’s Guide series, Christopher Moore for all his books, Issac Asimov for his Robot Visions, and countless other authors who have been brave enough to let the world see their creations.

What this boils down to is that the author shares what they want.  We read or we don’t.  To say she owes us the third book is, quite frankly, childish.  Enjoy the stories that are there.  Find new stories to lose yourself in.  We, probably, are never going to read The Captal’s Tower and even if we do, it won’t be the same book that Rawn would have written a decade ago.  People change, and with them, the stories they tell.  You will never read the book that would have been written ten years ago because it doesn’t exist.  We support an author for the work that we have read not for the potential we believe they might achieve.  We don’t threaten them with boycotts because they haven’t written what we want them to write.  Why?  Other than turning in to Kathy Bates from Misery?  Because the stories we fell in love with weren’t the ones we demanded from them.  They were the ones that the author simply had to tell because they didn’t know how not to tell them.  These are the tales that hooked us and had us up all night devouring one chapter, and then the next, and then the next until the sun rose.  They are the books on our shelves with spines so worn only you know what book it is.  They are the ones we turn to again and again because something calls us to them.

To accuse an author of not doing her job or duty to their fans by not writing a story that maybe, just maybe, they don’t want to tell is juvenile.  Yes, we buy their books but that doesn’t mean we dictate the work.  We are guests in to the minds of others.  Great minds who can imagine far off worlds and magical lands that we could not.   We owe the author the price of a book when that book gives us something in return.  We are owed nothing.  My solution to those who are up in arms about the whole matter is this: write your own third book.  Go ahead.  That’s what fan fiction is for.  Find your own answers to the questions left at the end of book two and weave your own story.  Or if you can’t do that, join the others on the forums and speculate.  Quit harping on Rawn to fulfill a need you, yourself, are quite capable of doing.

This all boils down to me, as a writer not brave enough to show her words yet, telling those who rant at Rawn to shut up.  Understand that sometimes, life’s not fair.  You don’t always get what you want.  And some stories, don’t have an ending. That said, believe me when I say that if Rawn writes the third book I will buy it and devour it as I have all her books.  But I’m not counting on it.  For now, I make up my own endings.

Unblocking & Detensing

After a week full of nerves frayed, stress levels breaking the gauges, and muscles so tense so I feel like I’m that rock monster from Galaxy Quest, I breathed for a few minutes on my couch and did some thinking.

I’ve been attempting to get the homework and school schedule worked out with the influx of hours from work and it has not been successful just yet.  Ok, Universe.  I get it.  Over-thinking equals brain bleeding.  Gotcha.  Within this little sphere of attempted organization were the more mundane day-to-day chores; laundry, vacuuming, dusting, etc.  In addition to the mundane chores are the little room projects that have been waiting now two months to finish; building my office chair, re-hanging various art prints and photos, installing the Kvartel hanging panel screen.

I feel like a Sim.

In response to this tornado of responsibility and frustration I went out and bought myself new shampoo, conditioner, razors, shaving cream, hair ties, and deodorant.  What?  You were expecting me to buy a Wii?  I’m old.  New shampoo to me now is a bit like a new video game five years ago. (Not that I don’t want new video games.  ‘Cause I do.  A lot.  Like burning.)  I have yet to do my new budget but I know that it will leave little room for luxuries and I simply don’t feel the need to go blow all my cash on Wii Music.  There, I said it.  Deal.

The new toiletries are my reward for tomorrow’s day of chores and crafting and homework.  I will be waking up at 8 am in order to get a start on the day.  The morning will consist of chores, the later morning will be the various room upgrades, and the rest of the day will be devoted not to homework (that will be a late evening thing as I seem to do better when I work in the evening) but to crafting.  Sitting next to my fabulous rafting desk is a box that will be filled by the end of the week with things that should have filled it six months ago.

I’m excited about the crafting.  I have a few simple projects to complete tomorrow that I think will really clear my head and allow me to enjoy myself and my inate creativity in a way I’ve been neglecting for months.

That said, I hope you all will send me well wishes as my fifth class is starting next week and I’m going to need all the luck and hope I can get my hands on.  School hard.  Vodka good.

Holy Moly, Where Has The Month Gone?

I’ve been neglecting this blog lately since school is ramping up and kicking my ass from here to the end of the ‘Verse.

Please be patient, my little blog.  I’ll be back soon with lots and lots of words.  Sooooo many words.  Many many words that have nothing to do with school.

When does my life begin?