Work is slow and I am forced to wait another three hours before I can rush home to work on the scripts. So I am forced to sit here and wonder what other fun things I could be doing. For instance, a friend was laughing at me because I have never played beer pong or flip cup. I don’t drink beer hence no pong playing but the flip cup game sounds like a blast. Which leads me to think of hanging out with friends, getting tipsy and being silly which I then remember I haven’t done in months. This makes me sad. And I think a bit pathetic.
Lately I’ve been thinking about all the fun things that I hear other people do yet I don’t. Parties, drag pagents, bars, and other social activites that for whatever lame ass reason I haven’t participated in. This nagging need all of a sudden to get out in the world and have fun is strange. Someone suggested it was my biological clock reminding time was running out to find my soulmate. I punched that someone. I don’t believe it’s my ovaries telling to me to get a life, but rather my brain telling me that it’s time to go and kill a few of it’s cells and meet some people and enjoy being in my twenties while I can still claim I’m in my twenties.
The next few weeks are peppered with Halloween parties, drag shows, and plans with friends. If the experiment goes well I’ll be able to juggle the school, with the work, with the scripts, and with a social life. I forgot what day it was as I have no concept of time anymore. You ask me what I did last week and all I can honestly answer is “Work” as my life is a blur of home and the big blue box. I need to enjoy myself here not just continue to wait (like I always swear I’m not doing but continue to do) for something to come to me.
In a little over a month I’ll be in Portland having a blast with Linds and Cat (and yes, even with Christopher and Brian) but I don’t want to get off that plane feeling like this. Stressed, unhappy, and unfufilled. I want to bound in to PDX happy and joyous and ready for martinis. I wasted a whole day last time just slowly waking up so to speak and that was a day wasted. Not this time.
Friday will be the first day of the new start. I’ve never been drunk with access to Twitter before so it should be a sight to see. I have a great costume and will be partying with wonderful friends who are just as excited as I am. I refuse to sweat the homework deadlines, script deadlines, doc appointments, dentist appointments, car repairs, or home decorating projects. Friday is play silly drinking games/board games/dancing/laughing/bad scary movies/wake up the next morning feeling slighty achey but not hungover day.
Posted by Cat Schaff on October 28, 2009 at 5:28 pm
ahhh that’s right! it will be the last year of your 20’s party which in my book was a much bigger party then my 30th! 29 was an awesome birthday for me and I will make sure it is for you, as well!
Enjoy your time out this weekend!!!